In a few hours I’ll achieve the first 5 days of fasting.
As expected, the cigarettes was and is the hardest part, I had in total 3 cigarettes, however I did not eat anything, I’m on the right tracks.
The Acidose crisis was ok, a few stomach weird feelings today, felt like throwing up last night, I had 2 green tea today but it’s gone I feel way better now. Hunger is gone since day 3, temptations are hard to resist but that’s part of the challenge.
My senses are clearly now performing at an higher performance level, I can smell food and tabacco at what it seems to be incredible range compared to before, the lack of body’s pleasure makes life tasteless for now, it’s a daily struggle against temptations, I will move back in the mountain alone, far from any food and cigarettes.
I feel depressed, can’t smile anymore, it was so long it didn’t happen to me, when I used to be starving I was smoking, when I wanted not to smoke, I was eating, when I had made my first fast in Feb 2012, I compensated it with love, right now, I have none of these pleasure available, I even fear to see my little daughter, it’s hard…
I believed faith would be the form of love which could compensate these physical needs, but I discovered I had no faith anymore, I’m doing this for a set of beliefs that doesn’t apply to me at this time of my life, I’m loosing it all, the only positive point is the daily struggle, “that’s what you wanted, that’s what you get”.
35 days before the end of that fast, gonna be a long period, so I’ll isolate me for a good 30 days, hopefully it will make it easier, if not at least I’ll be in the right context.
I’m sharing this experience cause it might help someone else in the same context, not to show off, I really do not care what you think about this, make yourself the favor not to share your point with me, isn’t gonna help and I know what I’m doing.
Take care of yourself, sorry for the mood …