Fi(r)st Fasting of the year – rescheduled

It has been a long time I didn’t update the blog, sorry about that… I’ve seen a incredible amount of google search leading to my blog with the keywords “Fasting” and “Spiritual Fasting” I now feel in debt to all these people searching answer to their question in a similar way for not having updated the blog since day 5.

I broke my fast on day 10, not because I felt something was wrong, not by hunger, I did a choice which lead me to a dinner, I have no regrets, on the contrary, I am glad I did that choice.

Elena, my baby’s mum, was in Barcelona in holidays for a few days, the universe being kind and lovely also led my track to Barcelona in the very same period. We met in Barcelona, we felt in Love in Barcelona, we had our baby in Barcelona, I will always carry Barcelona in my heart, it is the city where my Soul woke me up, the city where I met not only the woman I love but the brothers and sister that I love, with all my Soul.
Within them too much are gone but this period shown my conditional Love the (long) way to be unconditional, this period changed the grief of Death into the celebration of reincarnation, this period introduced a sheep of capitalism to the universe and it’s eternal wisdom showing the sheep the way to become the wise revolutionary I wish to be one day, this period made me a dad, this period linked me for lifetime to the woman I love.

We, Elena and I, used to love to go to a restaurant, it was our kinda special one, a really nice Japanese (in my top3 restaurant ever :P), knowing she was in town, I invited her to go to that place, hoping she would accept, since I left Italy in November we merely had no contact, but I missed her so much, I wanted so badly to see her, just the pleasure to talk to her, to tell her how sorry I was, I had a lot say. She accepted. Fuck the fast, fuck the spirituality and the universe, I’ll start over. Don’t be shocked with the “fuck the universe” my God has no ego, he knows humour and how much I love her/it/him :).
The universe told me once that loving unconditionally you can’t be offended, make sense to me.

We went to the restaurant, we talked, laughed, smiled, it was a very intense evening to me, emotionally speaking.
Sometimes you don’t find the accurate or precise words to share and experience, you feel like you need to create new words, this evening was of this kind of experience. I told her that she was the one I love she told me to move on, but I explained her that moving on does’nt have any sense for me, I don’t want to, my love for her and our daughter is the main source of energy, and God knows how much energy I am consuming every minutes since august… I told her she can live her life, but I’ll always be there standing by for her, as the father of my baby,as a friend or as a husband if someday she felt like I deserve to be at her side again, with her trust and love.
At the same time giving her a small paperbox with a 3euros “chinese-plastic-bling-bling-ring” inside, this is how homeless asks a lady’s hands, but I know this woman is way over that even if some may again be shocked, and this one of the thousand reasons of why I love her.   

The same night I moved to Madrid by bus, the day after I moved to France for 2 weeks. So I broke my fast, I’ll start over, when ? After my baby’s birthday in march. I already missed her first birthday, no way I miss the second one.
Sorry again for being without posting that long, I had internet access but a lot to think about…

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Why I believe Spain is not (yet) ready for it’s revolution – Open letter to the 25S

I have learn from Quantum biology and a 3 years in the French army what is required for a hand of entities to achieve the impossible: unity, or rather saying oneness.

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The human body is composed of over one trillion cells, which is equivalent to more or less the amount of stars in the milky way, each cells is an individual entity, cells have their own digestive system, they are able to make individual decision, some cells will decide to sacrify themselves, when the exact same kind of cell can take the decision to enter in protective mode in regards of a danger, the ability to make a decision is what I define as consciousness. A cell is like a human, a multi-organic living entity with the ability to reproduce itself and transmit is memory to the next cell, this is why the skin remembers pain, even if the skin’s cells have a lifespan of 30 days. Exactly as we tend to transmit our experience to our child.
In a purest way as they transmit an experience, not a possibly manipulated point of view. A cell can not lie to his child.

Cells experiences different level of emotions, in the exact same process as we, humans, as a body do. There are sensor in bodies our skins which are receiving an experience and sending to whoever it concerns a bio-electric signal corresponding to the given experience. Cells also work this way by the “cell membrane”, the cell’s skin and the bio-chemical code sent by our brain in regard of every single experience we live. Right now, your brain is creating a bio-code regarding your perception of this very blog entry. Depending on if you agree, reject, love, fear, think etc, the bio-code will be different.
As our behavior changes depending of the experiences with face in our context of evolution.

Emotions cells are also created by your neuronal system, located both in your brain and heart, depending how you perceive this experience they might be created in your brain, your heart or both. Emotion cells defines our bio-chemical code at a body level, which means it creates the context of evolution of our cells.This is Deepak chopra teachings, master of quantum biology. Below an animal cell and it’s organs as an example.

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Over one trillion cells, communicate in 2 ways to give the process of information and energy we call mind and the body which appears to be one giant and unique cell that we are aware of.
Local communication, where cells interact directly with each others like humans does in a conversation, by email or with a phone call.
Non local communication, which allows the magic trick of oneness between all the cells, they are performing as one entity, us.

Non local communication would be for humans to perform without the need of local communication, like when several persons performs a job with no need of coordination, they all knows what has to be done, when and why, the team act as one entity.

There really is no much difference between us and a cell, it’s all a matter of scale and once more, I believe we should be inspire by nature, it has reach perfection.

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Sadly, from my experience in social movement, peoples are acting in a less evolved way than their cells, protagonism, ego’s offense and defense, the law of the strongest, the law of the smartest defines some individuality, the alpha-male has to show himself to all others around him to insure respect within the revolutionary group or rather saying, movement.
Applying this model to our body, we would be quiet messed up. Imagine the cells of the ass insulting the cells of the heart just because they have a different perception, the cells of the hand refusing to coordinate themselves with the legs, the primitive brain refusing to talk with the eyes, that would be a mess don’t you think ?
Life would just not work as body entities, like social movements are not working for the exact same reasons.

They defines themselves in an open minded spirit but would not accept a facist in their team, they talk about horizontality in power but show out their dominant side when an idea goes against theirs, they can’t even talk to each others with respect and dignity, and yet they have slogan like “Safe the democracy”, they don’t even act at an individual level, they act as an ego level. I am not making generality here, I’am not judging anyone neither, but this is a fact of experience, some people does act this way.

But here is my promise to all of them, rather than acting as the strongest to dominate, act as the strong one to protect the oppressed and you will feel more than a mere satisfaction of the ego’s power, you will rule over the rulers with the power of compassion,
Instead of showing off you are the smartest (because you shout the louder), use your skills to create and open minded context an educate these with old ideas based on a fear context such as nationalism and facism, then you will do more than pleasing your ego, you will rule over your context and shift the perception of others, being finally what you pretend to be, inclusive.

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It’s in the behavior of acting as one and insuring that no one is left behind that you will succeed in eliminating the frustrations which create division, learn to speak gently when you are offended, not to offend, no to hurt feelings of others, learn to forgive the offenses you perceive in the words of others, they are based on ignorance.

Ignorance must not be repressed it must be educated with love, this is my definition of being ” a real man ” (I hate this concept, but that’s a good image) rather saying “an evolved being” , the power of understanding, the love of forgiveness and the skill of no retaliation is what makes a great revolutionary.

But of course there are also these great revolutionary in social movement, wise, understanding and living in a full acceptance, I’m in love with these blessed Souls and I can tell you, they are a lot of them in the Coordinadora25S.
We shall now work all together to create this state of mind and being of unity.

The solution is clearly not in removing the ego-acting individualities, the solution is in offering them the understanding of the concept and providing them the context to experience it.

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When you engage in the army, in my native nation you have a 3 months period dedicated to create brotherhood and oneness in the group of new recruits, peoples are pushed in their mental and physical limits, till the breakdown, it allows recruters to evaluate individual mental levels, build up cohesion and unity inside the team, you end up with 30 brothers for who you would be ready to risk your life for, in all sharing the same shit and struggle, it creates natural strong links between individual whatever the social cast or education level they come from, it’s horizontal (as all are new recruits) and united (like the cells of our body), but it cost 3 months of 24/7 pressure, there is another natural way to create the same result of brotherhood between people, it’s love.

Even if I believe that the social context of Spain is creating a similar context as the army training, too many people yet are not willing to share the pie of shit, they rather give their part to the people struggling in finishing theirs.

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First at a team level between the members as the revolutionaries groups, to show the examplarity politician have lost, then applied at a national level it would allow any nation to end suffering in less than a day, poor’s would feast, not in an act of charity but as a natural consequence of our unity, people in grief would never be left alone in a natural feeling of common well being, there would be not a Soul sleeping in the streets (Love for Celenque – Madrid), no one would allow is neighbor to suffer from his social context, people will stop to commit suicide for loosing their houses, any negative experience would impact the general happiness of all, in a conscient way  – it does in fact, but we do not care – ( It sounds as the cancer of a few cells impact Tthe general state of our body).
It’s as easy as it’s sound, I believe it worth the try.

Sadly we have created an actual context of fear and division, hierarchical at a family, social and professional level empowered by a set of senseless rules, follow the rules or fear the consequences, in this state of mind we are raising our kids, leading our companies and organizing our society. The problem is deeply implemented in our thinking system, and the reaction to fear is submission or domination…

People shows off their ego’s in the fear to be judged, in the fear to be less, in the fear to be rejected, degraded, in the fear of loosing something,not because they like it, but they think they have to protect themselves in this way to outer aggression or stress, this is how they have learned it, there is no one to blame and less to judge. The only cure I know to fear is Love.

When I say love, I mean love in it’s true meaning, unconditional and global, not the kind of love we experience when saying “I love you” and expecting an (perceived as deserved) ” I love you too”, this is business not love, an exchange of love, ” I give you mine, you give me yours”, these are expectations, where stand expectations, stands condition to be met, if the love deal is not fulfilled, start the fear cycle, this is the way our civilization love, it’s a pervert form of love, this love bounces fear when the conditions are not met.

Unconditional love is the way a child love, embedded in their nature, by instinct they knows this natural form of love, until we parents demonstrate them that love must be earned and deserved.

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This is the way I try to love any Soul I cross in my path, with no conditions, no expectations, this is the way I love you brothers and sisters of the Coordinadora, this is the way I love my baby girl and her mum, the way I love my blood family and so, my specie family. This is the way I love the cops when they hit me or lock me for 24hours in a jail full of pee without letting me falling asleep, this is the way I love the one who thinks he oppressed me, within different levels of affinities of course, but  all forms of life are entitled to this love, a love without judgements, conditions or expectations.

I invite you to this experience, love health fear, love unite and love performs miracles, the day we will be able to interact between each others in this state of being, not only we will bring any government down, but we will show the world the power of unity, oneness and love. That might sounds a very long way, but we are talking about a revolution, so we will have to “be the change we wish to reflect into the world”.

It will start as soon as we decide to interact that way with each others.

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I might be the only one I can’t love that way, I need expectations in regards of myself and how I live my experiences, but that’s something I’m working on 🙂

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Edit: I have seen twitter’s and facebook’s shares, that was unexpected ! Thanks that’s very nice of you 🙂

God is back

Today, for the first time over a long, very long period, I had the opportunity to interpret a sign of my divine entity, after now almost 7 complete days of fasting…

I was sitting in the street, waiting for the bus to Barcelona, with my depressed ugly face, then a young guy, aged about 20 came to me, without a word, he gave me a chocolate. Surprised and wordless, I answered ” is that for me ? “ he replied ” hang on that’s a matter of time ” .

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Yes I know most people would smile and think ” He must have taken you for the sad homeless that you are “, and that’s a very respectable perception, however in my very own experience and perception of reality,
Peoples are one of the thousand devices the universe can use, a word in the mouth of a stranger, a message in a song, in a movie, an advice in a newspaper, a sound produce by the flow of a river, a feeling in an experience, to me it’s a matter of communication, not necessarely a chat with the voice in my head.

No I did not eat the chocolate, I’ve been served a spiritual dinner tonight, for the first time since months now, contact has been re-engaged. That’s a step …

Fasting – day 5

In a few hours I’ll achieve the first 5 days of fasting.

As expected, the cigarettes was and is the hardest part, I had in total 3 cigarettes, however I did not eat anything, I’m on the right tracks.

The Acidose crisis was ok, a few stomach weird feelings today, felt like throwing up last night, I had 2 green tea today but it’s gone I feel way better now. Hunger is gone since day 3, temptations are hard to resist but that’s part of the challenge.

My senses are clearly now performing at an higher performance level, I can smell food and tabacco at what it seems to be incredible range compared to before, the lack of body’s pleasure makes life tasteless for now, it’s a daily struggle against temptations, I will move back in the mountain alone, far from any food and cigarettes.

I feel depressed, can’t smile anymore, it was so long it didn’t happen to me, when I used to be starving I was smoking, when I wanted not to smoke, I was eating, when I had made my first fast in Feb 2012, I compensated it with love, right now, I have none of these pleasure available, I even fear to see my little daughter, it’s hard…

I believed faith would be the form of love which could compensate these physical needs, but I discovered I had no faith anymore, I’m doing this for a set of beliefs that doesn’t apply to me at this time of my life, I’m loosing it all, the only positive point is the daily struggle, “that’s what you wanted, that’s what you get”.

35 days before the end of that fast, gonna be a long period, so I’ll isolate me for a good 30 days, hopefully it will make it easier, if not at least I’ll be in the right context.

I’m sharing this experience cause it might help someone else in the same context, not to show off, I really do not care what you think about this, make yourself the favor not to share your point with me, isn’t gonna help and I know what I’m doing.

Take care of yourself, sorry for the mood …